


Hard To Love

by hwangkill



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Binsung as side ship, Family Issues, Fluff and Angst, Loneliness, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2019-11-15 19:31:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18079556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hwangkill/pseuds/hwangkill
Summary: Chan was always an odd kid.  A good student, a good son, never rebelious, nerdy and the most importantly, lonely.Woojin, on the other hand, was popular. He was rich, spectacular and beautiful, but he never seemed to enjoy it. The fake friends made him even more lonely than probably being alone would.As years of their lives pases the only thing that stays in their mind is to find s o m e o n e. To feel the love. But would destiny let these two worlds collide into one?





	1. intro

**Author's Note:**

> it's so unedited it hurts to look lmao have fun uwu

Chan entered his dorm and sighed, taking off his black laced shoes and pulling off the same colored hoodie, then throwing it casualty on a hanger which way it never did landing simply on the wooden, dark brown floor. A small black backpack ended up on a fluffy, gray couch next to the masculine boy’s figure. He rubbed his shoulders with the following growl; muscles so cramped cause of Chan being on even more stressful line than normal, bringing him on edge again. This week was more than tough, he didn’t even have time to think at night before going to sleep, just falling asleep sitting on his office chair in front of his computer, doing the homework or something for his job; he was just always busy with work. And alright, Bang Chan was one of the best students on his year, for sure the best from those who lived alone and had to pay for their own bills but he still wasn’t satisfied. Moreover, now the twenty-one-years-old life was set up like a clock, a one missing number and he would get lost, falling on the ground and hurting his own feet. He didn’t really mind having a lot of stuff to do since he wasn’t overthinking then and couldn’t get too sad of how lonely he was. But sometimes even Chan needed a break for his sore muscles and washed out of society bullshit brain.

 

Brown haired boy sighed again suddenly standing up. A pain killer that was in his medicine shelf couldn’t reveal the pain he felt from the untouched, unloved body he owned. His own steps guided him to a small bathroom, white tiles on the floor that cold that made him shiver even if he worn socks. It looked oddly ugly, a white, hospital-like washbasin and small shower bath next to it, not really a lot of light in the room since it had only one small window. Chan looked at himself on the mirror hanging above the hand washer flinching at the thing he saw. A young man with his curly dark hair in a mess, eyes puffed from tiredness but dry from the lack of sleep and “watering” them. Sitting in front of the computer screen for almost the whole day everyday wasn’t helpful either. His cheeks managed to get a bit of color, the pale skin getting these two rosy red spots. And lips, even if needy and dry, still plumped. His stooped posture made him look fragile even if his muscles told otherwise. The mix of his pale skin and all black outfit and dark circles around eyes made Bang Chan looking like either a vampire lord or deadly exhausted young man.

Chan wasn’t a happy person.

Before he wasn’t a happy kid either. Always different from kids his age, curious about the science and reading books alone in the school library instead of lifting up girl’s skirts or exchanging pokemon cards. He, of course, watched it too, however, he was never interested in even longer conversations than a few sentences with his peers. As a kid, he seemed stubborn and selfish, just because his interests were nothing like boys' his age.

When he was seven, he read  _The name of the Rose._ The book led him to history, but moreover to theoretical thinking, instead of, what primary schoolers were doing, believing rare statements. When he was eleven, he accidentally locked himself in his grandparents' pavement, only to find his grandfather's notebook from the II world war times. At age sixteen, Chan got into a fight with the school's sport club, only because he heard that the teacher who is responsible for detentions, always says historical fun facts or curiosities. As he grew older, his interests in history and social issues grew as well, but all of that was followed by one more thing. The lonely kid was always sitting in silence, so after years, when his irritation of his own thoughts was enough he found another passion, way of relieving his loneliness as well.

That's how he is now, getting the history major diploma in few months and producing music for this fastly growing music company that hired him right away after hearing a few of his tracks. However, as nothing changed, everything changed a lot.

 

Student let out a gasp and found himself irritating again.  _Maybe that's how it works,_ he thought,  _maybe I'm too much to handle, I even annoy myself._   After years of enjoying life alone as it is, now Chan got aggressive every time he passed through the university buildings. Every way he looked, the only noticeable things were couples, clingy people sitting next to each other, whispering sweet things or feeding each other with the canteen's lunch. It wasn't even like he found it attractive. The opposite, for a few months brown haired thought he might be asexual since he never got interested in any gender, truthfully in any people in general. But recently, the alone nights at his apartment seemed too lonely and the spare cup in the kitchen cabinet too dusty cause of standing there for years now. He didn't feel any sexual affection, he didn't even know what affection feels like, but he might, just might slightly want to experience how it is to be there not only for yourself but for somebody else. How it feels to know and care about small details of another person's life, not only about all the Henry's in British royal house. 

 

Chan left the bathroom proceeding to the kitchen and made himself another cup of tea this day, his resolution of not drinking coffee for one week straight for now on hadn't been broken. A scent of vanilla came to his nose just after filling the cup with hot water and boy smiled to himself. Maybe the lonely nights weren't that bad, at least when he had a cup of warm tea and a fluffy blanket over his lap when he worked overnight.

 

 

                                                                                            ----***----

 

Woojin sighed, furrowing his brows as he drunk another glass of cherry coke in accompany of his loud and not so sober friends. He couldn't believe he let himself into the same situation once again, after promising to himself and everyone that it's the last time he looks after his dongsaengs while they are getting drunk on another (in a row) Friday night.

 

"Woojin-hyung!" his eyes rolled as younger approached him, shaking his shoulder rapidly. "Do you see that cute guy over the counter hyung?' he asked, his eyes sparkling either from the alcohol taken or excitement. "I'm gonna take him home tonight!" he teased with a giggle and older couldn't do anything that hid his face in his hands.

Almost every week things stayed the same; three of his friends asking him out to one of these popular bars with a scene for dancers and cute bartenders. Then all of them were getting wasted, Hyunjin mostly taking someone new home with him leaving Woojin with two too loud boys who were annoyingly cute and open to strangers. It wasn't like he didn't like to hang out with Hyunjin, Seungmin, and Jeongin, but he was tired of always being the caretaker and the mother of the group.

His other friend was already on his way to the counter's boy when he finally spoke "Hyunjin-ah be careful", but it hasn't seemed like he heard his hyung.

 

Brown haired boy sighed, looking everywhere around to find his other friends. He didn't really feel well (or maybe he just didn't want to be around clingy people?) so he wanted to take them home, one of them was on his way anyway. 

 

It's been like a routine for Woojin, but he never resisted it. He didn't really know if it was just him being the oldest - intuition or maybe an overprotective nature, but he would never let these three crazy boys go to the club without him. Even if he hated the loud, nasty music and all the wet people swinging that close to him that he could feel their sweat through his t-shirt, he was too scared to just let them go alone.  _And maybe he had also another purpose, which, unfortunately never happened to come real._

 

When he finally spotted Seungmin and Jeongin aggressively bopping to the song on the corner, he finally stood on his feet and, in some way, got through all the horny dorks to approach his drunk friends.

"Hyung!" the youngest smiled widely throwing his hands up and screaming right after. Normally Jeongin was one of these quiet students, whom no one knows, but everyone likes anyway. But on Friday's night, when he was getting drunk everyone could see the other side of a nerdy student. He still, was a little out of space, but all giggly and clingy then. 

Young boy snugged to Woojin's shoulder and screamed once again, it seemed like some song's lyrics or shit like that. To say older was tired would be an understatement.

"Innie!" he yelled right into his dongsaeng's ear. "I'm taking you and Seungminnie home now, alright?" younger only nodded, suddenly being all sleepy. But Woojin was used to it. He knew Jeongin's getting sleepy and clingy after alcohol and Minnie is always aggressively sarcastic. So he hasn't been surprised when after calling Seungmin to get out of the bar he only heard  _hyung you're an odd grandpa. Let us have some fun, you prick._ And then he would usually wait for younger Kim to drunk about three more shots and got too dizzy to stand on his feet properly. And it happened this way that night too. 

 

Half an hour later he found himself in his shared apartment with one of his friends, him and Seungmin studying the same thing on the same university. The only difference was that Woojin is the senior and the other is a sophomore. He looked over at both boys sleeping, Jeongin's head buried in Seungmin's neck.  _How long will it take them to notice that they are in love with each other?_ he thought. Even if it was past two in the morning he hadn’t felt sleepy at all.

 

So, as a wild idea came to his mind, he didn't seem another way than follow it. What could he lose anyway, he was always overprotective and never actually had time for himself. Woojin laced his shoes and after that only checked if he left pain killers and bottles of water behind his flatmate's bed. When he was done he shut down his phone and closed the door carefully, not causing any sounds. After that student breather loudly.  _A night walk can't be that bad, right? It's not like I'm the most lonely and most sober person on Friday night out of all Korea,_ he thought and just after he escaped the building a slightly older man bumped at him.

 

'Ah~! Sorry!" he bubbled being definitely drunk.

 

But Woojin just walked past him with a stressful look in his eyes.

 

Minutes after wandering over the park, photography student found himself comfortable on one of the wooden's benches. He sat down on his feet, bringing his knees to the chest and wrapping the long arms around it. When he was younger, still a high school student, he used to come here a lot, especially at night. He usually just walked around the trees, sometimes with loud music playing in his headphones just enough to shut everything around him; sometimes just bare and alone like that followed by the silence of the night. He shivered putting his cheek on his knee. It wasn't that cold though, the warm of finished summer was still in the air, but it was kinda too cold for denim jeans and an oversized t-shirt. Woojin shut his eyes closed as always when he came here, trying to clear his mind of all the things that stressed him out recently. He was kind of a freak and maybe just a bit of a perfectionist. Even when his grades were falling down and his mind was blurred with the break-up with his cute ex, he would always try to wipe it off just to look cool and still.

 

In fact, Woojin had never been easy in feelings. As a kid he didn't have the perfect example either, his parents were just always cold, not only towards him but also towards each other. Maybe that was the reason why he couldn't build a state friendship. Even if he cared a lot about someone, he would never show it right into someone's face. Right, he might be cuddly and all, but when it was coming to words, he couldn't express the right things. Instead, he showed his affection in little things like getting someone their favorite cake or just giving a piggy ride back home. But it seemed like for others it's not enough. When he was graduating from high school someone started to be more around him. To not lie, even if Kim Woojin wasn't the warmest person to be friends with, he was pretty popular just because of his name. So basically, everyone knew him. He wasn't the loneliest creep in the school, but being followed only by people who want to be friends with someone rich wasn't the thing Woojin expected.

So when a boy showed him attention and didn't want anything back, brown haired of course felt something. He felt being wanted and needed as a boy, not as a finance helper or popularity hyper. It went all fast for them, few months and both were whipped for each other. Woojin finally felt in the right place, but what would it be the story if it hadn't ended badly? Now, the memory of this one boy and warm kisses placed all over his face made Woojin tear a little.

He was there, all alone. At least, it felt like that. His younger friends never understanding his lack of affection and cold mind. He didn't mind for real, but sometimes he just wanted to be understood. He wondered if one day he could find someone who will know the feeling of ice dripping into his heart, the feeling of emptiness just because it's there. He wondered if he could be ever loved as Kim Woojin himself for being the photographer, a perfectionist with odd behavior and interest in many contradictory things.

 

As if so, he turned his head up and looked on the stars seeing a picture of many small constellations. But he didn't find the answer there. So he let his head fall back on his knees crying out the heavy pain.

 

And somewhere, on the other hand of the city, or maybe just a few blocks away was a lonely boy with headphones covering his ears and another mug of warm lemon tea.

But was it even possible for them to meet one day?


	2. step one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This night it wasn’t the energy drinks the thing which kept Chan awake at night, but a weird feeling of missing something he never experienced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so,,, please don’t get used to that often updates..... i’m normally this type of author who posts once a month or even posts a first chapter, then forgets about the work for a year, finds it again and promises that this time they will finish it but never does,, 💀💀💀

 

Woojin took a step forward, a blindfold still making him unsure of his moves. He felt warm hands of one of his new friend, Lee Minho, on his tensed body. Minho was a dance major student, but the only thing that made this situation be real was them bumping at each other two weeks before.

 

_“Aish! Look at the road!” Woojin heard a high voice after his butt met a cold campus floor. He felt his fresh coffee cup wetting his dark jeans but he didn’t really mind that now, he was on his way home anyway._

_“Not to be dramatic dude, but you’re the one who bumped at me with your huge shoulders” he said with a smirk and looked up at the stranger. The boy had his brown hair combed back, showing his glowing forehead. His lips created a small smile and he scrunched his nose a little. The only thing that wasn’t matching to his cute appearance was a black blindfold covering his eyes. Woojin shook his head. “Woah dude, you alright?” he asked still confused. A smell of vanilla latte was everywhere and for sure would stay on his pants for a bit._

_“Yeah, kind of” he answered slowly massaging his neck in embarrassment. “You know, it’s kind of my practice. I’m a dance major student” he answered not raising the material from his eyes. However, Woojin could feel his staring. “Are you okay, anyway?” stranger asked and tried to give a hand to other boy but failed not seeing anything._

_“Yeah, only spilled all of my coffee on me” he sighed and stood up cleaning up his cup from the floor. “What is the exercise you’re doing now? I mean, it’s not really ordinary to see a man with a blindfold bumping at other students” he chuckled._

_The other boy giggled and Woojin smiled at it. His laugh was pretty cute and addicting._

_“Um, I had some struggles with keeping in pace with my dance partner. She’s like a fly, fast and annoying” he said straightforwardly and Woojin’s jaw dropped open at his words. “So my teacher suggested me trying to walk with a blindfold to see if I can control my moves and to make my other senses more sensitive”. Oh, now it made sense for a photography student. As a photographer, he knew how much you have to rely on your senses, especially your ears and eyes. Sometimes, while picturing wild nature he had to focus really hard to hear animals and birds or even the flow of the wind to know when click the button on his camera._

_“Isn’t it quite dangerous?” he asked anyway, his mom mode already turned on. He felt how sticky his jeans were to his skin. “Do you see anything?”_

_“Hmm, maybe a bit” dancer answered. “To be honest, I shouldn’t be walking through the hall with my eyes covered but I think I kinda wanted to challenge myself” he whispered, fortunately loud enough for the other to hear._

_“You stupid little brat!” Woojin raised his voice a little and the other finally took off his blindfold, looking at a photographer with slight fear in his eyes._

_“Sorry?” he asked and as Woojin smiled, shorter boy relaxed too, smiling widely at him. “Not gonna repeat this anymore tho” he added and giggled a little. The silence between them wasn’t any awkward, but it wasn’t comfortable either._

_“I’ll be going now I guess—” Woojin finally said looking dancer in the eye and wanted to walk away when the younger stopped him._

_“Wait! I’m Lee Minho, what’s your name?” he asked with happy eyes and brown-haired couldn’t do any other than smile and respond._

_“Kim Woojin, I’m photography student, but I’m sure you’ll find me around if you need anything” and after that, he only waved to his new friend with an empty paper cup in his hand and still wet pants smelling like vanilla latte._

 

Later that day, he heard a notification from facebook.

 

**User Lee Minho sent you a friend invitation.**

 

He accepted it right away smiling to himself at the profile picture showing a young man who was definitely Minho, with a cat covering half of his face.

 

 

And now Woojin found himself in a place he would never think he would end, one of the old dance practice rooms. As Minho explained, the dance practice rooms for him to use after school hours.

It was a typical classroom, but instead of desks, there was just free space. On the one end of the room, just under the windows were two couches, nothing really more. Then a small table, which looked like stolen from the shop of old, vintage furniture on which was standing a small music player. It was pointless for Minho anyways, he always used his phone and Spotify playlists.

 

For this special time he prepared a special song, so now him and blindfolded Kim Woojin was dancing (or at least trying to) to one of The Weeknd songs that photographer didn’t really know, but would never admit that in front of his colleague. Minho wasn’t going slow, he was actually forcing many moves on older, knowing that he himself wouldn’t do anything at all without his help. They looked a bit funny, Woojin constantly stepping on his own or dancer’s foot, Minho giggling at his clumsiness.

 

“Remind me why are we doing this” Woojin sighed when the music stopped playing and they decided to took a small break. He took off the blindfold and drunk about half of his water bottle at once.

 

“Because I wanted to make up for you” Minho answered with a smirk on his face and maybe normally older would find it cringy offensive, but in these two weeks, he got to know that the younger is just like that. He kinda reminded him of his longtime friend, both Minho and Hyunjin were really talkative and exploded with positive energy also both of them being flirts. What was the most surprising, was the fact that actually both Hyunjin and Minho were also dance major students, so for a lot of time Woojin just thought it’s their thing.

 

“You know you won’t make up for me by KILLING ME” he highlighted the two last words and Minho rolled his eyes in answer.

 

“Come on hyung, you have to know some basic moves. Haven’t you ever tried dancing before??” younger asked with curiosity sitting next to the photographer, their knees touching.

 

Woojin looked like he was thinking about the answer for a while, then he responded “no, I actually really, really, really don’t like dancing myself. I’m like... not coordinative enough” he finally answered.

 

“Oh come on! You can’t say these things to me! It’s like destroying your camera in front of you!” he teased.

 

Woojin only raised his shoulders “You wanted the answer, so I gave it to you. Nothing personal. But may I ask why do I have to wear the freaking blindfold?”

 

“Ah about that...” Minho thought for a little, small smile already forming in the corner of his lips. “I just wanted to see you struggle I guess,” he said with a following laugh and in case of any future harm he sped up to the other corner of the room, hiding behind his own coat.

 

Weather at the beginning of October had been surprisingly cold and forced all of them to wear coats instead of just warm hoodies or denim jackets as they used to do for years. Now outside of the campus, the only thing that could have been seen was falling leaves and Woojin totally loved that. His soft side was all about warm blankets, books, and a hot latte or walks through parks or trips to the coast to see an early sunset.

 

“Can we just finish it already?” he asked looking at amused Minho and stood up stretching a little.

 

“One more move hyungie” dancer teased with a mischievous smile and didn’t even give the older time to prepare, putting on another song a Rude Boy by Rihanna playing loudly in a hot room. Minho came back to Woojin placing one hand on his waist and catching his hand with another. “It’s actually a good song for striptease,” he said when their faces almost met, sweat covering his foreheads, Woojin completely wasted of hard work. It’s been only one song but oh man were it hot there.

 

“Lee Fucking Minho” Woojin panted sitting down on a floor and breathing heavily. “I’m not dealing with your horny sweet ass anymore”.

 

 

——***——

 

Chan had seen enough of the clingy, cute couple in his workplace. He really had seen enough of a small brown haired boy sitting on the slightly shorter boy lap when they were both working on a song or lyrics. He had heard enough of the awfully sweet talk, pet names and teasing in public place. He always hated the public display of affection. And now it would have been only worse since his new project was to cooperate with the two lovebirds.

 

The young student found himself drifting away when he was sitting all alone in the soundproof room, the one in which he was mostly doing all of his tracks. Not only the tracks for others, but also his own, about which no one really knew, but for sure no one should find out.

It was a Thursday night, the picture of two short boys nowhere near when they were already fifteen minutes late. Chan started to casually check things on his phone, but to be honest, was there anything to check? He only got a new selfie sent by his younger friend, Felix, the one that he took under his arms like his own brother, just because both of them lived in Australia as kids and formally in Korea, they were still foreigners. The younger was now on the student exchange in USA and Bang Chan was nothing but happy for the little boy.

After another ten minutes of silent waiting the door stood open and two small figures appeared.

 

Boys were holding hands, one of them, the shorter, as always was dressed in all black outfit, a hoodie, ripped jeans and a cap hiding his also black hair. The other one, with puffy cheeks and brown hair was dressed in black ripped jeans, white plain t-shirt and a red checked shirt, all unbuttoned, just covering his shoulders. Even if Chan hated the guts of the couple he could still find them cute and matching. They were just like two halves of a whole eternity.

 

“Hello” the shorter one started and stuck his hand which Chan took carefully. His voice was a bit raspy, but still delicate. “I’m Seo Changbin, I mostly write lyrics, but I have some experience in producing too” the oldest immediately noticed that Changbin spoke pretty fast, for sure faster than it’s normal to.

 

“Bang Chan. I’m a producer and lyricist too” he said and then looked at the next boy.

 

“Han Jisung” he also gave Chan a hand and shook it lightly. He wasn’t really talkative, Chan expected that he’ll at least introduce himself, but the only thing he said was his name. Fortunately, his boyfriend got it for him. “Jisung is the lyricist, he never really made a track by himself” Changbin introduced.

 

They all sat up on the chairs in front of a small desk and Chan’s laptop.

 

“So do you have any idea of what we can do here?” Chan asked looking at younger’s faces. The one called Changbin smiled with excitement, but his pure face didn’t really match the dark aura he was emanating.

 

“Yes, actually we did something with Ji” he smiled to his boyfriend and Chan had to really keep himself to not roll his eyes at it. Again, it wasn’t like he didn’t like them as a couple, he just didn’t like couples in general because they were making him anxious and even more lonely than he was.

 

 

Changbin connected his flash drive to the device and half a minute later they could hear an audio file. The beat was fast but still nostalgic. It gave a scary vibe in the chorus, with some sounds exactly like from the horror movie. After all, it was a really good track with a dark outline and mixed styles.

 

“I really like it” Chan said after the player has gone silent. “It’s powerful. The thing that really matches the vibe of this song but we need to change it a little bit I think” Jisung looked at Changbin with the worry on his eyes, but his boyfriend only nodded. “I think it’s too dark for the lyrics, look, they are talking about getting lost, but the chorus is strong, it expresses being your own weapon now. Like it says I’m all for myself and I know that”.

 

Jisung and Changbin nodded in agreement, both of them smiling to Chan.

 

“I did something too” he said after a few silent seconds and opened one of the music programmes he used. The track was slightly different than Changbin’s one, had an upper beat and more instrumental background. It was like just the beat was telling the story, starting from the calm sounds growing up with the verse to surprise the listener at the chorus part. It also gave kind of a disco vibe, a song that is good to dance to but also to listen on a sad Saturday night when instead of hanging out with your friends, you sit alone in your house. Chan knew that feeling.

 

When the song ended Jisung looked at Chan with amaze in his eyes “Hyung, that was amazing!” older smiled at his words looking down on his hands on his knees.

 

“Yeah hyung, we should use your track, it matches the mood more” Changbin agreed.

 

“We can use some of both of them, I’m sure it will sound good” he protested, “anyways do you know who wrote the lyrics? They are really cool, but I’ve never seen any work from this artist before” he stated and suddenly the youngest cheeks turned red, he himself hid his face in Changbin’s shoulder.

 

“It’s Jisung’s” black-haired stated looking at his boyfriend, “he uses this name as an artist, J.One” he claimed and Chan looked at them with a small smile. Maybe the clingy couple wasn’t the worst, at least they were good at the only thing that should connect them, their job.

 

“It’s really good, seriously” he said starting a new music program on his laptop. Then, after a few awkward moments and silent breaks, three hours of work with a bit of fun and laugh, they managed to finish the whole track and get to know each other a bit.

 

For Chan it was something new, he didn’t really socialize as a kid, nor as a student. Most people didn’t like him just because they thought he is the typical nerd, books in his hands, fake glasses on his head and historical dates on the tip of his tongue. However, he had never been like that. He might have been a freak, but he had also been a mysterious person with an interesting identity, who always knew the right jokes. Just, no one ever let him be the life of the party. And now, as a student, he finally found out what the others meant by calling him that. He really soon realized that as being himself, Bang Chan didn’t match the history major students’ society. They were, in fact boring, but most importantly too slow. It was like their brain only worked when talking about some wars and kings, all the other topics made them malfunction. Chan hated being in between, but he couldn’t do anything about it.

 

He kind of got used to it and now making friends and having fun with people was actually challenging. But he probably did well since at the end of their meeting Changbin asked for his phone number.

 

“We can stay in touch right?” he asked, “You know maybe one day you could help me with some tracks... Of course, I’ll pay you properly!” he added breaking his knuckles out of stress.

 

“No worries Changbin, I’d like to work together another time” older smiled in response and waved to the couple as they left the soundproof room.

 

Then he sighed from exhaustion. Chan you can do this, he tried to convince himself while packing his bags. The producer had some other stuff to do but he preferred to work from home anyways.

 

After fifteen minutes student was leaving the company building, heading to the closest convenience store. He was looking for some instant ramen and energy drinks, knowing that he won’t fall asleep so he already planned to work on some school projects for later.

 

He was walking between the alleys when he heard something, a sound of metal hitting the floor tiles. When he turned back, Chan saw a pair of keys and a phone laying just on the center of the alley and a young man just around the corner.

 

Without thinking, he ran to the laying objects, took them in his hands totally forgetting about a ramen wish and chased after a mentioned person. Chan really hoped he would find the owned and surprisingly he almost bumped at him in the next alley.

 

“Hey!” he yelled to the man in front of him, a cap on his head was hiding his whole face, however, he was slightly taller than Bang Chan. A stranger looked exhausted crossing his arms in front of him, his shoulders definitely tensed and crooked. He was tall and slim, definitely had a good looking body. His arms looked strong exposed by the classic white t-shirt and his thighs thick in the ripped skinny black jeans. He was in the most typical clothes person could imagine but still, his body emitted this kind of energy only confident people can emit. To say Bang Chan was taken aback would have been an understatement. “I think you lost something” producer said trying to look at taller’s boy face. He couldn’t see anything and it pissed him off. The other gave a magical aura, a dark feeling with a soft warm spot was around and for Chan it was scaring how these two things collaborated really well. He sighed showing the phone and keys to the man.

 

“Yeah that’s mine” other bubbled taking the things from his hands “thank you for finding it, however, I don’t think as I’d really need that” he said with a sad laugh, the type of laugh people do when they are too sad to cry about their present situation.

 

Chan stayed silent, exactly knowing this feeling, the words of the stranger hurting him anyway.

 

“You okay?” he asked silently. At this moment taller man took off his cap and placed his hand in his hair messing them a bit more than they were already. Chan looked at his chocolate brown eyes and just for a second he felt like he found a home. But after that everything snapped back to reality.

 

“Yeah, don’t worry stranger” his new object of admiration answered and after a few seconds he was far gone. The only thing that was left behind was a smell of chocolate and the sound of a hurt chuckle Bang Chan heard from him.

 

This night it wasn’t the energy drinks the thing which kept Chan awake at night, but a weird feeling of missing something he never experienced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you’re still here you can give an opinion in a comment! it would mean a world to me uwu
> 
>  
> 
> also i don’t really know where we’re going with the plot, the whole story is just a thought that i got once while being bored in english classes owo
> 
>  
> 
> p.s. don’t mind all of the characters sighing and rolling their eyes a lot, that’s just the usual thing i do in every situation.


	3. step two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ”Be well photographer” he only whispered to himself but only then noticed that music from his phone was playing for the whole time. A calming voice of Tom Odell ringed in his ears when he stood up and started to wonder if what had happened a few moments ago was the reality or his imagination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh well,, that’s even worse that i thought it will be but i have something planned for a few next chapters so yeehaw! maybe i will just rewrite it later (we all know i won’t)

Woojin woke up shivering, a memory of deep brown eyes and same colored hair still fresh in his mind. A lazy broken smile across someone’s lips and a really small, but extremely cute dimple in his right cheek. He felt dizzy, his head was hurting so badly, something like a cold, strong voice bouncing on repeat in his own ears, like it was growing bigger and bigger, fuller and fuller, ready to explode and paint his white bedroom walls with an image of young boy and his words spreading like an article of lies. A photographer shook his head, but this special someone wouldn’t leave it, a milk-white skin contrasting with all black outfit made his mind going frustrate crazy.

He sighed in pain looking around, only now noticing how dark it was there. Looking outside the window wasn’t the best idea since the only noticeable thing in the city lights was pouring, strong rain. Woojin threw himself back on his a bit too small, single bed, causing him to wriggle just to find a spot where his hard mattress won’t hurt his sore back that much. He still didn’t understand how his friend, Seungmin felt all comfortable on such a tough piece of furniture, but he knew asking won’t give him any answers.

 

He and Seungmin knew each other for a really long time. In all honesty, Woojin didn’t even remember when his friendship with the younger started. They always lived pretty close to each other on one of the small streets in the suburbs where everyone knows everyone and gossip is never hidden. Any of them was anything poor, but none of them had good family relationship.

So maybe that’s why younger decided to follow Woojin on his life way and move from his parents’ house even before they could protest about it, then knocking on Woojin’s apartment door and looking at him with those puppy eyes.

_“What do you mean you left home?!” older asked sitting on a single chair in his small kitchen and looking at high school graduate with wide eyes._

_He felt scared, just the thought of his old friend struggling with anything made his already cold and broken heart shake, his own wounds still not healed to even talk about such topics._

_“I… I couldn’t depend on them” Seungmin mumbled, looking down on his hands and a small suitcase standing just in front of him. “They wanted me to study medicine and you know I’m nothing like a doctor”_ smaller _boy sobbed “I just wanted to follow a dream of mine, just like you did. I couldn’t stay there if I wanted to and I had no one else to ask for help. Woojin_ hyung _please, you—“ his speech was interrupted by the older hugging him._

_“Hey, that’s okay, I never said I won’t help you. I just don’t wanna make it hard” he stated when Seungmin let out a broken sob._

_They stayed like this for a while, warm body of Woojin’s taking all the sadness from younger and absorbing it, naively thinking that it would help. Or maybe it did, but not for a long._

_Anyway, Seungmin and Woojin stayed flatmates since that day and with every specific_ one _, their friendship had grown stronger and stronger, both feeling like they are more of brothers to each other than just friends. Woojin never really opened up to Seungmin enough to tell about his struggles, but on the other_ hand _, younger never asked. It wasn’t fake, their friendship was all trustful and precious, but they just never needed these words. Living in suburbs with rich parents thinking only about their name and public opinion was hard and both of them had to learn how to just let it be._ Seungmin _was a total opposite to his_ hyung _, he was talkative and always showed his feelings, even if not in words, then by impressions. As a sensitive person he was, student cried a lot and every time when he was frustrated he used to growl and curl his hands into fists. By his outgoing_ appearance _, he might_ seem _to some as an intimidating person, but in fact, he was one of the sweetest and kindest creatures._

 _Woojin was mostly surprised how giggly and cute this boy could come to, even when they had their worst, hitting rock bottom with not_ paid _bills and slowly getting worse grades, Seungmin was finding happiness in little things. That was around the time they met Jeongin, an art student. Between two young clicked and Woojin could easily tell why. He was happy someone that bright and positive like Yang Jeongin was in his friends’ group._

 _The youngest was like a light, his smile and jokes, even if stupid, was always making them burst into_ a laugh _. He was talkative and outgoing, but in a different way than Seungmin was. And Woojin thought that was the reason why he was their bright spot. He brought the happiness and colors to_ steady _but burnt out lives of two Kims._

 

Woojin’s eyes dropped open when he heard knocking to his bedroom’s door.

“Why aren’t you asleep?” he asked when he finally noticed some contours of a creature inside of the dark, creaking of the old wooden doors surely was something that kept all the thieves away.

“Could ask you the same hyung” Seungmin replied, his voice raspy and cracky and his walk not really secured. He looked like he woke up just a few minutes before. “I heard you making noises so I came to shut you up” he added and right away he was attacked with a single small pillow “Ouch! For what was that??” younger dropped his almost unconscious body on the bed, not even looking where he was falling. Anyways, it was too dark to even try.

“Ah come off me you dirty kid!” Woojin scrunched his nose and tried to pull the student away, but each of his steps made younger cling to him even more. In a few seconds they ended up cuddling, Seungmin’s body on the older with his hands spread around. “You really are gonna stay here like that” Woojin sighed but brought his hand carefully to younger’s hair and ruffed it a little. “My little Seungminnie needs night cuddles” he said nicely with a high pitched voice followed by a giggle. Right then, he didn’t even remember why he woke up in the middle of the night.

“It’s hyungie who needs night cuddles, but he won’t ever admit it” Seungmin said sleepily and even if elder’s heart dropped he fell asleep pretty fast with a smaller figure crushing his fragile body.

                                                                                                   ----***----  

 

Mornings were the least favorite part of the day for Bang Chan. Cause of his night’s lack of sleep, he tended to get up late really often, but as kind of a perfectionist he is, he always got to be at the university or work on time. This morning felt even more painful than all the previous ones. A cold wind woke him up, followed by the screams of his neighbors, a young married couple who didn’t really deal with each other well. He stretched up on his bed and got up, putting on himself a black hoodie and black sweats. History student didn’t have time to think about fashion or even just looking properly when he had about fifteen minutes until his first class this day and about ten minutes of the traffic jam at best.

It was fast for him to get ready, two minutes later Chan grabbed his backpack and locked the doors sighing at the rainy clouds outside. It already felt like a bad day, not only a bad morning. He put his earphones in and clicked play with his recent most repeated playlist, love in mysterious way. It’s been three days since he was left with a broken glare in the convenience store and since that moment he felt really inspired. It wasn’t the first time he faced that situation nor the first time he felt attracted to someone, but in anyways he ever felt a connection on such spiritual level with a complete stranger. It basically was like a magical soulmate connection about which he had  read in one of the mangas, his new interest.  

The song that played first was _loving someone_ by the 1975 and it leaded him through the busy and crowded streets. His eyes wandered between the high buildings and people in suits or just baggy clothes like his own, kids with colorful backpacks keeping their parents’ hands close and awfully cute couples, some of them already showing too much affection. He kept his growl inside of him and just slid somehow, trying to walk-run to his university. Brown haired was lucky enough to rent an apartment nearly close to both his work and his studies and he could only be thankful for that amazing opportunity.

Living in this part of the city could be sometimes really stressful and tiring, basically the center of Seoul was the most loud and crowded place probably in whole South Korea. Chan doubted the city ever slept, since all the parties, gigs, debates, concerts, parades and anything other was always located in there. He was kinda used to hearing loud music at five am, he was used to his neighbors screaming at each other and he was used to hearing growling dogs at three am just because some crazy sports freaks are actually waking up to have a nice, night run with their dog. Seoul was also the place of politics life and a home for all the kpop fans. It was, for sure, really absorbing and overwhelming sometimes, but Chan would never say he hates living there. Basically, from his spot everything he wanted to reach was close, he lived near a park and huge shopping centrum, his work company about ten minutes away and even the train station, if he would ever want to travel, was near his university. Chan also loved the liveness of the city; sometimes the lights from the clubs would make a normal ugly street look pretty, sometimes their small green park looked like an island only for him when he decided to take a walk at two at the morning.

Next played was _lost boy_ by Troye Sivan. Chan bopped his head all the way to the university enjoying nostalgic vibe of the song. When he finally arrived, he had about a minute before his class would start so it was just easy to say he came on point. However, even if he did, the only thing that occupied man’s head was another boy whom Bang Chan would probably never meet again. At least that’s what he thought.

For the first two hours Chan sit bored listening to the speech of an older man with a raspy, harsh voice talking about the French revolution. The professor was strict, old and not really communicative, but still Chan enjoyed his talks probably the most. It was hard to find a history teacher who could talk about a thousand year old conflict like it was his yesterday’s fight with his own wife, entertaining and easy to understand, but still more meaningful than a regular television novel. His university was a really popular one, but still not everyone with degree will be the best in this. Chan often saw the tiredness and boredom in his professors’ eyes, he noticed their lack of interest in something they had to teach and explain. At this point, he didn’t even know why he was still studying history since he knew he won’t ever be a teacher himself, but for now he let it be as it was. It’s been his last year anyways so dropping it out would be a stupid choice.

After one more hour Chan plugged his earphones back in and started a warm walk to his working place, hoping that today he could finally work all alone. It wasn’t like he hadn’t liked the new met composers, but he was just overwhelmed with so much affection. All the giggly smiles and sweet kisses were something what made him think if he ever wants to be in a relationship. Chan was a simply person, but at the same time very complicated. He didn’t need a lot to fulfill his heart, in al honesty he only needed some clothes, a bit of food and something to work with music. He never cared about home decor, birthday cards or extraordinary dishes in restaurants, his regular order was theobboki. Chan didn’t really care about his appearance either. He of course was clean, wore washed clothes and smelled nicely, but his outfits were mostly a pair of sweats and a hoodie, sometimes skinny jeans if he felt like it. His inner fashionista probably died in fourth grade when he painted his nails for the first time and his father yelled at him trying to convince little Bang Chan that painted nails wore girls and criminalists. He never believed, but never did that again.

On the other hand, Chan was nothing like ordinary person. He had many colliding interests, he loved reading, but he also enjoyed sports so whenever he felt like it he went to the swimming pool to spent there three hours. He loved music so much, he lived for it, but at the same time he wasn’t sure if he had ever played radio. Chan had a dark aura around, he knew he has a resting face all the time, but in fact he was a huge comedian if he only had an opportunity. His younger friend, Felix, always laughed at elder’s lame jokes. Chan enjoyed history books and studying this subject, but he never convinced himself to watch a documentary film. All the differences of a young producer were odd, but at the same time nothing special.

When Chan arrived at the company and finally sit on his favorite chair in the studio room, he finally could close his eyes for a second and think over the tiring day. It was only 2 p.m. but his exhausted butt couldn’t even make a move from his chair. He was gladly accepting the silence around him when something smashed the doors open and two giggly voices could be heard. Chan sighed knowing that it won’t be a resting day at all. He would have to use all of his willpower to not roll his eyes all of the time.

Hours after hours, three man finished one full track and already prepared almost everything for the other one that they had to do. They worked pretty fast with everything and Chan couldn’t say that their cooperation wasn’t good. He kind of liked working with them, both of the younger boys were ambitious and special at their own way, so they could always give something different into the song and that made it even more powerful. Changbin, despite his dark aura, preferred more lively beats with electro sounds, while his boyfriend, Jisung, who looked like a cute marshmallow; specialized in more nostalgic and ballad-like songs. With Chan’s raspy, techno style it all seemed like a neverland; all of them could agree that they made something what they had never heard before. Still, it wasn’t the final product yet and anyways they are only the ones whose names are on the back of the album written in small dark font.

 

Chan sighed when younger boys escaped the room and packed his own stuff deciding to not stay in the company. Working with people still was challenging to him and whole day without a moment of silence stressed him out a bit. He pulled on his black hoodie and plugged his earphones after closing the doors. The cold, fresh air was welcoming and recharging, small wind ticked Chan’s neck. Even when the sky was completely dark, city lights made it looks like a fairy trade not polluted, over-peopled city. He danced his way to his neighborhood, slow movements accompanied by Bruno Mars’ talking to the moon. Truly, this day moon looked amazing, colors of the night sky were somehow more clear than normally and air was a lot more calm.

Chan wasn’t the person who looks at those little things, his goals were always clearly made and even when his own mind failed him a bit, wandering somewhere (and that happened many times) he never really thought about anything in particular. It was more of an empty feeling, like his brain was closing himself in an empty room only to scream about all of his insecurities and fears. But he wasn’t the person who daydream, wasn’t the person who looks at details or enjoy the awfully romantic white moons and strawberry candles. It was easier to say that Chan was simply lacking in affection, but as he stand there he didn’t know if that was the right answer. Surely, producer wasn’t a cuddly person and didn’t talk about his own struggles loud, but he never said anything about not needing a person to make him feel these things. _Maybe that’s how it works,_ he thought. _Maybe you fall in love and then you do all the stupid stuff cause you’re just so stupidly annoying... or stupidly happy_... .

 

Chan forgot where he was going, but somehow found himself in the park near to the block of flats he was living in. The moon was brighting up the trees, making their shadows dance in a cold wind. A sound of the fountain added more magical vibe to the whole scene, something like a beat to the slow vibrations of bodies. Chan was alone. Not only in his life, but in the park. At least that was what he thought. History student sat on the nearest bench inhaling deeply, a smell of wet grass hitting his nose. _Am I really enjoying those things now? What’s wrong with me?_ he caught himself thinking about it again. For a few moments Chan just excused it with the fact that he was making a love song with two lovebirds literally being the most lonely person in Seoul. He tried really hard to shut his brain which played against him, hitting his head constantly with a picture of man his age, with brown curls and tanned skin and shining deep eyes. He exhaled loudly provoking his mind even more to focus, trying to think about his real interests, history. Because that was his real interest, right?

World was spinning around, Chan was still sitting on a bench near to the huge fountain, never noticing Ed Sheeran’s song playing from his phone. His breathe started to calm down, curled fingers now stretching up when he heard a loud click, something like a camera, eventually weird toy kids play nowadays.

Kind of terrified, but mostly intrigued, Chan opened his eyes to meet a dark sign, a creature with a huge profesional camera in his hands. He felt embarrassed and at the same time confused not knowing what was going on there.

“Oh, I’m sorry... I thought you was asleep and you looked really pretty in the moonlight” the stranger explained and Chan suddenly felt. He felt for a smooth, sweet voice of the other male and how cute he sounded while being embarrassed. The photographer groaned, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. Something strong and unknown was holding him back there, didn’t want him to turn back and run away as he would normally do. Something back there hold him up to the stranger, absorbing all of his light into the sitting male.

“Who are you?” Chan’s voice felt like a bullet breaking the comfortable silence between them. He looked at the photographer with wide eyes, trying to catch as many features as possible, but night’s dark couldn’t let him do that.

“I’m a photography student” man spoke taking step closer. They were few feet apart now, but still couldn’t see each other faces. Chan had to agree that this little mysterious game made him excited. “You resemble me someone...” stranger took a step closer and Bang Chan leaned to him too. “Maybe that’s just your beauty... I should take more pictures” his words were flirty and obvious but Chan enjoyed every second of it.

He never flirted with anyone and this was a new path to explore.

“I don’t think i’m a good object to capture” he finally spoke, his shaky breath made his shoulders shake a little too. The response from the stranger surprised him as the only thing he heard was a warm giggle.

“I could argue with you but i don’t think i could win” he whispered after a while. “Never mind, i’m going to find something to capture then” he said and Chan didn’t know if it was his mind who played with him again or he heard the desperation in the photographer’s voice. He wanted to say something, but in this moment his brain stayed silent.

He was wondering what could he say anyway, in fact that was only a stranger. _What if its a psychopath?_ he thought for a moment now scanning whole body of the other male.

“Just that you know, I’m not a psycho. I’m just doing my work” a little smile was noticeable on boy’s face when he finished his sentence, responding to exactly what occupied Chan’s mind.

“Wh—“ a producer was taken aback when the stranger just turned back and started to walk away.

“Be well photographer” he only whispered to himself but only then noticed that music from his phone was playing for the whole time. A calming voice of Tom Odell ringed in his ears when he stood up and started to wonder if what had happened a few moments ago was the reality or his imagination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yah so please comment if you are still there cause my stupid ass doesn’t know if what i’m doing is even readable or entertaining?? i like saf dark concepts with bits of angst so please keep that in mind! oh! and one more! i can’t write! so keep that in mind!


	4. step three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next day Woojin woke up with a memory of mysterious name and a soft smile, but couldn’t match it to any face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeehaw long time no see i will rewrite this chapter one day i promise cause it misses PLOT

Chan would never believe if someone told him that he would become best friends with a gay couple he worked with once, but that's exactly what happened. Him, Changbin and Jisung were a close group now, obviously the two lovebirds a lot closer but they loved their hyung as their best friend and everyone could see that they have a precious relationship. They started to open up, mostly Chan and somehow they ended up drinking a few more drinks and then making a sleepover at Bin and Jisung's flat because they were too drunk to care. 

A month passed; a month from their first collaborative project but also a month from that day which was now entering Chan's dreams every night. Slim, well-built man with a sweet high voice and camera in his hands was intruding his mind once he let it doze off, every time was it the same image and the same location and even though the park was still there and even though Chan visited it now regularly, he never met the mysterious guy ever again.

It frustrated history student but he couldn't complain, it was only a stranger with a beautiful voice.

"Hyung are you coming to ours tonight?" Jisung approached asking with a wide smile as always and packed his and Changbin stuff to his backpack. Chan only hummed in response, still working on something on his computer and the only thing younger could do now was to shake his head. It was always like that but they got used to an overworked friend.

Jisung finished packing everything and without a word left the room to meet his boyfriend in a hallway and with him holding his hand came home. Older producer sometimes got jealous, he couldn't lie about it. But Changbin and Jisung was a precious couple and no one would deny that. They just matched each other perfectly with all their flaws, irritating behaviors, and petty pews, with all the laughs, dad jokes and soft spots. Even though they were somehow opposites, they made a good match and Chan loved that more for them, but he would love something like that for himself too.

A few hours later student was leaving the company with heavy eyelids and, as always, playlist ringing right to his ears by his earphones

This time it was Harry Styles and some other western artists.

Chan really loved walking in the dark so now, when the only thing that gave him the ability to see was street lights. He enjoyed the calmness of popular city this night, the first time in a while it felt like something different. Maybe it was because the easter was near and many people left the busy Seoul to their family houses on suburbs or maybe just the slow picking spring was making everyone a bit more lazy than usual. Anyways thanks to that Chan could now make a long walk without hearing footsteps of also thousand other people, the sirens of the ambulance and few barking dogs waiting outside of the shop for their parents.

He could focus on his thoughts and let his feet lead him to other places, for example, the park. He really didn't know how it was happening but most of the days he ended up there.

                                                                                                            --***--

On the other hand, Woojin was busy. Or maybe that was the thing he was telling himself to not explode with his emotions in public, everything irritated him to it's most, especially now the new couple, Seungmin and Jeongin being everything but cuddly and clingy mess. At least it lowered their party Fridays to only two this last month what was a good change.

He hated how boring his life became, but at least he had Minho, his new friend who was constantly trying to teach him dancing and always failing after a few moves. "It's just not my thing" were the words that Woojin was always saying, but dancer never gave up on this. He was taking older with him to the practice room on campus about three or even more times a week, now training without a blindfold. It wasn't a normal training though, after twenty minutes of dancing to Twice's songs they would end up giggling on the floor because of mistake Woojin made or just deciding to cancel dancing in order to buy chicken in this restaurant just around the corner and then eat it in the practice room. Woojin and Minho happened to become friends really easily and pretty fast. They've been spending more and more time together and older's roommate, as well as his boyfriend, were teasing him about that a lot. At first, photographer also thought he could fall in love with a handsome dancer, but as days passed by, he knew that they are only friends and nothing more. They were extremely easy going with each other and for sure, they always had a lot of fun together but Woojin realized it's only because his other friends are a lot younger than Minho and that makes a huge gap when you're a student. They just had a bit different mentality and Woojin loved that now he could compare that.

One day, he somehow managed to organize a meetup for all of them; however Minho, Hyunjin, Seungmin and Jeongin in one room wasn't the best decision. They all fell in love with Minho's attitude and were even louder than they normally were. The oldest giggled to himself back then, enjoying his friends and trying to hide the hole in his heart every time Jeongin poked Seungmin's cheek or the older stole a little peek on younger's nose. This couple was an adorable rollercoaster of cuteness, weird sounds and evilness. Woojin was a hundred percent sure that they could destroy our whole planet with their amazing manipulative powers.

Somehow it came to another party friday, but this time Woojin decided to invite Minho too, they knew each other for a little now so he thought that would be a good distraction while he had to watch over his three younger friends getting wasted and uncontrollably clingy to strangers.

They arrived at their favorite bar  around 8 pm , Hyunjin already a bit tipsy since he liked to pre-prepare himself before “the real party” as he used to call it and irritate his hyung a lot.

Five boys found themselves sitting on a huge coach, each of them with a drink in their hand, smiling and talking casually. Later on Hyunjin went somewhere not informing anyone about it and Seungmin and Jeongin were occupied by cute little talks anyway so it felt like Woojin and Minho were there alone.

Photographer fast learnt that Lee Minho is not a good company for partying and drinking; about twenty minutes later he was totally drunk, only pouring some random  jokes into Woojin’s ear. He sighed looking around; it seemed as now he had four kids to take care of.

                                            --***--

Chan walked through the huge glass doors, looking around with curiosity, he had never been to this place before. However it was so loud and bright with every fluorescent light stuck to the wall that he didn’t know if he could enjoy that. Producer turned around to follow his friends; Changbin and Jisung kind of forced him to go there after he admitted he had never ever been before to a gay club. He didn’t even know his sexuality, but he was totally sure it was nothing close to being straight.

The lovebirds led him to a small coach and right after ordered a bunch of different drinks giving a few to Chan.

“Wait guys, I’m not gonna drink” he said confused, refusing to take the glass to his hands.

“Hey I’m driving so you could accompany Ji with drinking. By the way, he kinda sucks at it so it won’t be a long road” Changbin chuckled and earned a little fist at his arm “ahhh I was attacked by a baby” he laughed and only tugged his boyfriend closer.

Sometimes Chan was jealous of the closeness and warm of his workmates’ relationship, but in moments like this one his cold soul was struggling a lot to not let out a soft purr. They were really made for each other and watching them from Chan’s perspective was either a blessing or a torture.

“Okay then I guess I should start” he finally said taking the smallest of their various drinks from the coffee table. He drunk that pretty fast frowning a little. “I wish it tasted like hot chocolate oh my god” he rambled what caused others to laugh.

“Stop being a baby Chan hyung” Jisung said drinking his own drink slowly and cuddling to his boyfriend. They looked really cute in their matching outfits, both of them wearing black skinny jeans and colorful shirts in dark green and shining gray.

“Says who? A baby?” the oldest teased smiling a little. It kind of became a part of his nature, thanks to two youngers he learnt a lot about joking and the sarcastic behavior was now more smooth in his way.

They continued to drink casually, smiling and telling some old life stories, as most of the time they were meeting. Somehow Chan got used to the hotness of the place and all the noises, the only important thing was that he could enjoy himself and in that moment he didn’t care if it was because of the alcohol in his blood or just weird appearance of bravery. It was relieving  to finally clear his mind for a little.

                                             --***--

The photography student  was drinking alone ordering more and more fancy drinks, while drunk Minho left to the toilet and Seungmin with Jeongin didn’t bother to even look at him. Woojin took a glass with a red mixture, he didn’t remember what it was but it smelled like chili and strawberry at the same time so it couldn’t be that bad, he thought. He wanted to get wasted too anyways, what else could he do? His eyes squeezed when he swallowed every drip of the drink and suddenly he felt a burning feeling down on his throat, followed by spicy hotness on his lips and tongue. He screamed accidentally not sure of what to do and how stop the burning pain.

“it’s so hot!” he yelled causing a few people to look at him. However, no one bothered to do anything. Woojin stuck his tongue out of his mouth and started to flutter his hand around it as it could bring any help. He felt like his whole body was about to burn down.

“try this” he heard and a full bottle of water appealed in front of his face. He opened it not caring to look at his rescuer and drunk a half of the bottle at one time. Relieved, he looked up and suddenly his breath got caught, he couldn’t even say a word. And beautiful stranger was standing there and smiling lightly, his dimples got exposed prettily, making his already cute face even more adorable.

“i-it’s you” Woojin stuttered, looking with big eyes at the stranger. He recognized him, Woojin would recognize this face shape and plump, heart shaped lips everywhere. “The beautiful guy from the park. It’s you” he repeated, his gaze still on the brunette boy.

The stranger started to open up his lips to respond but someone intruded, cutting in their (for now) one sided conversation.

“Woo did anything happen?” they heard and the photographer turned around to see Minho behind him, his hair a mess and eyes watery. He shook his head lightly trying to tell his friend to just leave him alone but Minho didn’t seem like he go it. Fortunately, after no response he just shredded his shoulders and left the two alone, making the situation even more awkward.

 

Chan smiled widely before speaking.

“you have a cute boyfriend”, he said with sparks in his eyes and finally deciding to sit next to Woojin. His whole body relaxed, melting into the couch and he looks so easily handsome that Woojin’s mind was blown for a straight minute. Chan was looking at him with the smile hidden in his eyes and even though photographer didn’t remember him like that, he already started to love this expression.

 

“ahh, its not my boyfriend, its just an awkwardly wasted friend” he mumbled putting a hand on the back of his neck and rubbing it harshly. “By the way are you alone here?” the question caused younger to look around so without an answer Woojin already assumed he was not.

 

“no… im with... friends let’s say but they are eating each other faces’ right now” Chan stuttered somehow and now looked a bit embarrassed. Woojin didn’t realize that he put his hand on other’s knee but nor Chan did or maybe he didn’t care. They sat in silence for a while until older spoke again:  


“ah I see! Wait, I think we never introduced ourselves before… should we?” 

 

Chan smiled at the proposition, again smiling not only with his lips but also with his eyes. Woojin didn’t know if it was because of alcohol or something else but he wanted to see the other smile like this for the rest of his days. The smile was really heartwarming.

 

“ym yeah Chan” younger nervously got his hand from his lap to get it close enough for other to shake it.

“Woojin” he took younger’s hand in his and the warmness of his sharp, dry skin made his heart shutter a little.

 

“Wow your hands are really soft” said Chan at the same time when Woojin was enjoying his hand. “ah… I shouldn’t have said that” he got embarrassed again and hid his face, already feeling the red spreading across his cheeks.

 

“Don’t worry,I enjoyed holding your hand too” Woojin responded but just after saying that he giggled like a teenage girl. He felt stupid for flirting in this girly way and for being so full of beans just because of accidental meeting in a club.

 

Suddenly he started to hiccup what caused Chan to make a really cute sound; a small whimper escaped his lips when he smiled to Woojin.

 

“I think I gotta go” he started, “I have to find my friends and take them home.... Or they will take me home... something like that” he messed with his words but Woojin didn’t care, he was too affected by him anyways. Chan stood up and waved to sitting man and before Woojin could ask him for his number, he left without any word.

 

Next day Woojin woke up with a memory of mysterious name and a soft smile, but couldn’t match it to any face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so i just wanted to say thank you guys cause i never imagined that many people to read it omg! and only add that it’s not really thought through work, it’s just my idea of woochan and my random thoughts but if it works out well i WILL rewrite the parts which are lacking SKILLS. ah and so please remember that english is not my first language and i like if someone corrects me if im wrong so! any grammar mistakes - please leave a comment!! uwu

**Author's Note:**

> WeLcOmE tO mY PiEcE oF GaRbAgE :ppppp


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